Working from the sofa with a very serious dachshund

My wife says I work from home now, but in practice I work from the sofa with a dachshund on my feet. Nemo is six and a half, long-backed and very serious about his job, which is to sit under my desk and sigh loudly whenever I take a phone call. He has opinions about my Zoom meetings. When my manager's voice comes through the speaker, Nemo walks to the door and barks once, as if to say the meeting should be shorter. Our flat in Sukhumvit is small, so there are rules. He is not allowed on the desk. He is allowed on the bed for exactly one hour after lunch, which I have told him is a policy, not a favour. We also bought a small ramp for the couch, because dachshunds have very long backs and the stairs are a problem I try not to think about. He uses the ramp with the dignity of a man walking into a fancy restaurant. Some afternoons he curls up on my foot while I review spreadsheets, and the weight of him makes me slow down. My colleagues think I am the most patient man in Bangkok. The truth is Nemo taught me that a short walk to the soi corner counts as a proper break.